Clumsy Development

Basically it's the George Costanza model of software development. The only requirement is to know the vocabulary, not that you need to know what the words mean though.

For example.

Agile says to not have constantly changing priorities while expecting your developers to change on a dime.

Clumsy says, the more projects the better, what else are the developers going to do with their time? Test, bah!

Agile says to keep meetings to a minimum.

Clumsy says that whoever passes out from lack of oxygen first wins.

Agile cares about the developer's quality of life and acknowledges that it is important for the long term success of the project.

Clumsy says "Whip the horse until it's dead." (This I have on reliable hearsay was an actual statement made by someone with a very fancy title and doors on his office.)